Based on my experience at Krav the other night, it occurred to me I should describe what would make a good Krav Maga partner. Here are five ways to be a good partner:

Communicate. Introduce yourself. Let your partner know if you have any injuries they should be aware of. If you feel like they’re being too rough or going to fast, ask them to take it easy until you can get the hang of the defense.

Technique. Watch their technique. If you notice your partner performing a defense incorrectly, try to help them out. Let me put it this way: if you think they’re doing it incorrectly and really you’re the one doing it incorrectly, you suffer… By bringing any questions to the table, both parties benefit.

Be unexpected. Pay attention to the way your partner moves. When you do drills (especially those where your partner closes his or her eyes), try to do things they might not expect. Yell “Hey!” when you push them with the bags. And don’t forget to work all their angles.

Be strong. When you’re attacking, don’t hold back. You are preparing your partner for the worst, so you want to give them the best training possible. I can guarantee you they would rather get hurt in a controlled, safe environment rather than out in the unpredictable world. My motto in Krav class is “If I’m not broken or bleeding, keep going…”

Support. Encourage your partner. When they’re getting tired at the end of a drill, cheer them on to keep going strong.

The room was packed tonight. We had a sunny weekend, so I imagine everyone was trying to get in their Krav fix.

I partnered up with, A, a girl completely new to Krav Maga. I want to preface this by saying I have no problem with new people in class. In fact, I want to see more women learning to defend themselves. But I can definitely tell a difference in my workout tonight from class on Sunday.

I didn’t break a sweat and I only vaguely remember getting a little out of breath. Half the time I was trying to help out A, correcting her form—pushing her to put her weight into her strikes.

I tried to concentrate on my own strength and speed, but a lot of what we went over tonight depended largely on our partner being aggressive. She was too new to realize what the difference being aggressive can make.

On Sunday, I looked to H to push me. He probably didn’t even realize he was pushing me, but just looking over at him and realizing he was ready to continue on… I was able to dig down deep and find some tiny speck of energy.

So, I was really disappointed in my lack of a workout tonight. I feel I only started to really get the defenses, because of my lack of using them. Is it weird that I want to be manhandled? I want to know what the feeling would be like if someone were to actually attack me. I want to know I can really defend myself.

As with everything, I’m sure I will have classes where everything doesn’t go perfectly. Next class will probably be better.

Watch this video on mute… You can thank me later.

I came across this video tonight. It’s exactly why I got into Krav Maga in the first place. Girl in (what looks like) a dark, secluded parking garage needs to find a way to defend herself. The example that disturbs me most is when the “attacker” knocks the girl’s feet from under her and then crawls on top of her…

It’s worth saying if I haven’t before: the best defense is not being in a sketchy location like that in the first place. Stay out of dark, secluded places like parking garages and don’t be afraid to ask a co-worker or friend to walk you to your car.

This is my first Sunday class and I feel pretty confident walking in. On Monday, I finished up not feeling like I was going to die from exhaustion.

We do the usual stretch and B, the owner and today’s trainer, tells us to do 20 push-ups and 25 sit-ups. I’m immediately a little anxious. The last time I tried to do the most push-ups I could, I was able to do… oh… ya know… seven. I surprise myself though. I’m pushing my body up and I’m suddenly past 10. Then 15. 20 push-ups? Please. That was almost easy. Almost.

I partner up with H for openhand strikes. I’m excited, because he’s the first guy I’ve worked with so far. He’s at least 2 inches taller and 50lbs heavier than me, but I feel pretty confident about my ability. B pushes us hard. We quickly make our way through straight openhanded strikes, groin kicks, and by the time we get to elbow jabs, I’m ready to pass out. I actually consider stepping out of the room. We must be getting to the end of class. I look at the clock. We’ve only been at this half an hour. It’s only half over.

Oh. My. God. I think I may die.

I look over at H. Sure, he’s tired. We’re all sweaty and exhausted, but he looks ready to start practicing the strike. I get a little boost of energy. Must keep up with the boys…

I’ve never done elbow jabs before and I immediately tell the difference between H’s and my own. He knocks me back a little with each strike. I don’t really think I’m doing them right. I’m stepping and twisting and not getting it. B comes over to help, but I’m so exhausted I can’t make my back leg push off like he’s instructing. I keep at it though. I can’t learn everything perfect the first time.

Now for my favorite part, learning to defend.

New scenario: Someone’s choking you from the side, most likely to either head-butt you (this is popular in Europe) or to drag you off (I’m sure you can fill in the gory details on your own). In this case, you rip your attackers hand away from you in a plucking motion, but keep a good grip on his hand. You don’t want him going anywhere. At the same time, give him a solid hit to the groin with your free hand. Bring your arm up through his arms and elbow him in the face. Give him a “little tickle” (B’s words) of a kick to the groin and then knee the crap out of him. Mmmm… Attacker down.

I practice this with H and he gets a little anxious defending against me. He accidentally clips my jaw once and immediately stops. It doesn’t hurt and I’m all “I’m still attacking, yo!” He finishes the combination and instantly starts to apologize. “I’m not bleeding and nothing’s broken, so keep going!” I tell him. He doesn’t let up any more.

Moral of the today’s Krav story: 1) B knows how to hand my ass to me on a lovely Sunday morning (I’m so coming back next week), 2) Guys tend to be great partners, because they motivate me to really work, and 3) I’ve just got to get serious and level them. I may be a girl, but I’m not gonna let up on you any. Give me all you’ve got.

I still have a nasty scab on my right middle knuckle from class last week. I walk into Krav and promptly show the guy who manages the front desk. “So… this is what happened last time I was here,” I say with fake shyness. (Really, I’m super psyched about it…) “Is that gonna be an issue?”

He glows with pride—his face lighting up like a 10 year-old who’s just found out Christmas came four months early. “Good! It’s in the right spot! You want any scabs to be on your right two knuckles.” He assures me my hands will toughen up and tells me to throw open hand strikes for class tonight. A girl who’s signing up for her first class looks at me apprehensively, but I give him a big grin and go watch the class before mine. I have to admit, I’ve been staring at my knuckle with pride all week. Every time I look down, I remember what it means: I’m learning what I am capable of.

I’ve only been going a few weeks, but I can already feel myself getting into shape. After the initial warm-up, I’m not nearly as out of breath as I was before; I don’t feel like I’m going to die. My kicks are stronger, my punches are harder.

The instructor has us close our eyes. You have to train yourself to react as if you were on the street, he explains. You won’t always be prepared. My partner takes the rectangular bag and gives me a firm push and then prepares for my attack. My eyes fly open and I deliver a solid kick to her groin.

Again, I close my eyes. I force my mind to think about something else, allowing my weight to shift lazily to my left leg.

I seriously need to find a new job soon. She gives me a firm push from behind and simultaneously yells “HEY!” I open my eyes and deliver two solid open hand strikes. Left, Right.

I close my eyes… What should I eat tonight for… She shoves. Groin kick, groin kick.

When I leave, I feel great. I’m alert, strong, determined. I get on the crowded train to go home and catch a glimpse of myself in the window. I look like I’ve been manhandled, but I feel awesome! The guy sitting in front of me must think I look bad too, because he offers me his seat, even though there’s another woman in a suit standing closer to him. I smile and politely decline. There’s no way I could sit right now.

Quote of the week: “If you want to go home alive, play dirty.”